Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
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The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
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"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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