I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
