So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There's always time for handjobs
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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