I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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