I like my sex mixed with concussions.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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