she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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