weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
