The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
