capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize