did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
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Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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