i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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