Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
