I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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