You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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