State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
