okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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