drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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