Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
