Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
