i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I want a musical about memes.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
