At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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