omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
