I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
