my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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