I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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