Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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