yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
