we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
