My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Panties = found
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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