I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The air was thick with penises
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
