u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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