I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
too bad you live with your parents still
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
