he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
