you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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