I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
