I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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