You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
