The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
