We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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