She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
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Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize