I didn't shave. On purpose
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
