There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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