naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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