You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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