I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
