Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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