That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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