I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
