shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize