I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
