I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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