he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
