And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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