Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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