When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
