He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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