it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
