someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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