my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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