careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This is the high leading the old right now
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
